Living Life with Metastatic Breast Cancer
Little can prepare you when you’re told “You have cancer”… but nothing prepares you for being told “You have Stage 4 Breast Cancer.” And yet there I was… 42 and part of a small group, about 6% of all breast cancer diagnoses, that are diagnosed with de novo metastatic – meaning the cancer had already spread at the time of the initial diagnosis – in my case to my liver. Suddenly not only did I have cancer, but I had cancer that will never go into remission. I personally try to stay away from the word terminal and prefer non-curative. Either way, the image of fighter gloves and slogans of “we’re gonna beat this” were not going to be my narrative. Rather, it’s explaining that I’ll be in treatment forever… however long my forever is gonna be. This is where I’ll say the statistics should never be Googled.
From the beginning, I knew that Sharsheret was going to be a part of my “cancer team.” Years earlier I had reached out to them with questions about BRCA testing (I tested negative) – but now I knew I needed them on a whole new level. I was paired with a social worker, but Rachel is so much more than that – she was a sounding board for every rambling thought I had in those first few weeks. And then it was Rachel and Bonnie (head of the Embrace program) that encouraged me to become a peer supporter for other MBC women.
Today it is 6.5 years later. I have been blessed with watching my 4 children grow up. I’ve attended their graduations, married off two so far… but more importantly, been there for the day-in and day-out moments. I was told when I was diagnosed that I’m not milk; there’s no expiration date stamped on me. And that has been my motto since day one.
And while I’m acutely aware I am living past the statistics, I hold onto my faith that G-d’s plans are always for good, even in the hardest of moments.