In this deeply personal blog post, I want to share my journey of facing breast cancer as a lesbian woman. Breast cancer does not discriminate, and I encountered a range of emotions, from fear and uncertainty to strength and determination. Through the ups and downs, the challenges and triumphs, I hope to shed light on the unique experiences and perspectives that come with navigating both a cancer diagnosis and the complexities of my sexual orientation. It is my intention to inspire and provide support to others who may find themselves on a similar path.

The moment I discovered a lump in my breast and the subsequent journey of seeking medical advice, receiving a breast cancer diagnosis and grappling with this life-altering news was filled with fear, disappointment and resilience. My partner, Sue, was by my side every step of the way. I was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer with lymph node involvement and needed a double mastectomy. Because I was under 50 years old, I was encouraged to have genetic testing. It was discovered that I have a gene called MSH6, which predisposed me to certain cancers (breast cancer NOT being one of them). I was also diagnosed later that same year with uterine cancer.

My diagnosis came during the second year of COVID-19. So as much as Sue wanted to be with me during appointments, she wasn’t allowed in person, so she joined me by phone. Even on my surgery day, she wasn’t allowed by my side.

Cancer can deeply impact intimate relationships, and being a lesbian woman added an extra layer of complexity to this aspect of my journey. I remember wondering if Sue would still love me and my body without my natural breasts. I hadn’t yet figured out what I was going to do: immediate reconstruction, DIEP flap, aesthetic flat closure, delayed reconstruction. . . It was all too much to process. But just as I am not only a lesbian woman and that is just one part of who I am, having breast cancer was just one part of who I am. It doesn’t define me. I am an educated, witty, strong woman, and this diagnosis didn’t change any of that.

Being a lesbian woman has been an integral part of who I am for the last 17 years. I know breasts are important in most sexual relationships, but for my partner and me, they were extremely important and part of our intimacy. How would we ever be the same after this diagnosis?

I remember this being the point at which I realized I needed help and found Sharsheret. I reached out and received a call from a Sharsheret social worker. We talked for over an hour. Her voice was kind and calming. I cried, and she encouraged me and I felt understood. She embraced my whole identity: cancer, lesbian, mother–and supported the whole me. One conversation changed my perspective. I knew I had allies, and my Sharsheret social worker was one of them. I received a huge box filled with all sorts of resources for the entire family. It was amazing. Sue and I were in awe of the dedication Sharsheret puts into their resources.

Sharsheret stayed connected, checked in and continued to support me and my family.

I have many friends in the LGBTQ+ community that supported me but never went through breast cancer, so having people who understood the diagnosis empowered me. By embracing my identity, a lesbian woman with breast cancer, I was able to create a strong foundation for fortitude and self-advocacy throughout my treatment journey.

This year, I am celebrating 3 years post double mastectomy. The medications I am on still take their toll, but I know fighting cancer isn’t an easy task.

My journey has been one of strength, love and resilience. By sharing my story, I aim to break barriers, provide support and foster a sense of community for others who may be navigating a similar path. Together, let us embrace our identities, find support and navigate the challenges with courage and unwavering love.