That Old Familiar Feeling
I know this feeling. This weird limbo of uncertainty that we Israelis are in right now. This desire to do all the things we haven’t done for the past 6 weeks (shower! sleep through the night! go for a run without mapping out potential shelters!), but also this inability to plan too far ahead because, really, who knows?
It’s the feeling a cancer patient gets when they’ve finished chemo, but they’re waiting for the first scan that shows whether the chemo actually worked (or maybe it didn’t). That period where you want to be happy that you’re done with this awful experience, but you’re not actually sure your suffering accomplished its goal. Where it’s entirely likely that you’ll be heading straight back into something as bad, or maybe even worse, than the experience you just had.
Where you eagerly await any shred of news that will let you know what’s coming, but also don’t want to know, and want to bury your head in the sand a little bit. Where you check whatever app you use and breathe a sigh of short-lived relief.
Where everyone says “Aren’t you happy? Aren’t you thrilled?” and you think “I’m supposed to be thrilled because I survived so far and wasn’t killed by a thing that should have killed me?”
So yes, fellow Israelis, this is a familiar feeling.
As we are all trying to find our footing in these uncertain times, I wanted to share this recent piece written by Noa Hirsch, a two-time cancer survivor, mother of three teenagers, and participant in Sharsheret’s Peer Support Program. Noa was scheduled to speak this past March for the Survivor Community Event planned in Israel but had to postpone due to the war. It felt so reflective of many of the conversations we’ve been having in the Sharsheret community here in Israel over the last several weeks.
While many aspects of life had to go on pause, like school, any type of gathering, normal day-to-day living, etc., women navigating a diagnosis, treatment, and the resulting physical and emotional stressors don’t. We have managed to continue to get treatment and surgery kits out throughout this entire period, as well as remain available to those reaching out for emotional and navigational support. Please don’t hesitate to contact us if you or anyone you know is in need of assistance.
With prayers for peace and quieter times ahead,
Liora and the Sharsheret in Israel Team